


Swapped

by AJ_MOON28



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, Might evolve to destiel, No Smut, Okay it did evolve to slight destiel, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2020-10-28 03:42:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20771966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJ_MOON28/pseuds/AJ_MOON28
Summary: CAUTION: If you haven´t seen Season 14, please be aware that there are Spoilers included!!This is set after 14.20I always wondered about this one. Sadly we won't get an answer. So I decided to write it myself. I hope y'all like it."Cuck destroyed the world, everything changes"Credit to Eric Kripke. Thanks for creating these amazing characters, who we love so much.Sorry for taking so long. I'll finish this one soon-ish.Sorry for all grammar or spelling mistakes, I'm working on my english skills.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry guys that it took me so long to wrap this baby up.
> 
> Thanks to any, for always reading my stuff first, she's not really a beta, but she helps. A lot.

To serve, obey and protect, that's what Castiel has been created for. Not born by a mother, just been made. Since the beginning of time he has been send out with missions. Mostly to teach lessons, to fight wars or to punish other beings of creation. All of them were created by a being so powerful, everyone just called it 'God'. It was peaceful and quiet at first but then God created THEM. Lower beings, called 'humans'. They looked a bit like apes but with less hair. Though they were nothing like apes. God created them differently from others in so many ways. Made out of dust and water into flesh and bones. He made them intelligent, emotional and as it was supposed to be, in two different genders, mostly. But that was not all. They have been gifted with something no other being had. A soul. Souls are powerful as thousands of suns. They burned bright, full of energy. That gave the humans a longer lifespan than animals and after they died, their souls either went to heaven or to hell. They had they choice, god gave them 'Free Will'. A very dangerous path. Souls, feelings and free will made them dangerous, murderous and flawed. But they also were able for so many good things. Castiel always admired the good parts of humanity. He hated when god or his brothers and sisters punished them with plagues, wars or death. More than once he had refused to follow these orders. More than one he had been forced. Either with the treat of being expelled from heaven or, as he learned recently, by manipulating his mind. But not anymore. Never again! Castiel knew things have changed for him. Since the day he was assigned with that mission of great importance. It was his mission to go and rescue a very special soul. This soul was chosen to stop the apocalypse. At least, that is what he had been told. He rescued that soul , it cost him a lot of his power and some of his brothers were lost. After that everything changed. He wasn't only send to earth to punish, to destroy cities. Not anymore. He was allowed to interact and to talk to this human he saved. This human wasn't alone. A brother with a similar big destiny was on the humans side. Sometimes talking to them was frustrating, especially when they were together. "Dean" was the name of the soul. "Sam" the name of his brother. Sam was infected with Demon blood, not by choice though. The two of them were chosen long before they were born. Castiel learned that their fate was not to avoid the apocalypse, as he was told, they were supposed to bring it on. Although the Apocalypse was started, these two managed to find a way to end it, a better way. Castiel witnessed for the first time ever what "Free Will" really meant. During the event Castiel himself rebelled against heaven. It came with a high price. He was cut off from heaven, didn't have all of his abilities. Later he also was exploded by the hand of his big brother Lucifer. That was something he wouldn't like to feel again. Sometimes Castiel still wondered why he was reassembled. Not only that, he came back better. At this time it seemed to be a good idea to take responsibility over heaven. But his other older brother Raphiel didn't agree and fought against Castiel. Castiel stood no chance. This experience led to a string of bad decisions born out of desperation. Again Castiel died, way more horrible than before. If that even was possible. In order to defeat Raphiel, Castiel accidently released creatures older than himself. They were pure evil. And that was not the worst part. To not to be stopped he did the unthinkable. He betrayed the brothers, his friends. He lied, spied on them, even worked with the King of Hell. The last step to his downfall was breaking the head of the younger brother Sam. Castiel still felt guilty about it. Even though he knew he was forgiven. Again he came back to life. One big mistake followed the other. The big Fall. All Angels fell from heaven. Again Cas had trusted the wrong People. But he paid his price. For a short period of time Castiel became human. That changed his perspective. Suddenly he he felt everything in full intense, only vaguely felt before. Good feelings, bad feelings, all of them gave him a better understanding why humans were like they were. Sometimes it occurred to him that he might have a Soul since that time. It would not be a bad thing in his opinion. The brothers had Souls and they were good men, flawed with many issues, but very good men. After being human nothing was like it was before. Over the years one event chased the one before. The three of them dealt with Death on more than one occasion. False Gods, Cain and his Mark, Knights of Hell, the Darkness, who surprisingly turned out to be Gods Sister, the revelation of who Chuck really was, again and again with Lucifer, the british men of letters and the princes of hell. And the latest, Lucifers half human child, a Nephilim named Jack who turned out to be good and the returning of Mary Winchester, the Mother of Dean and Sam. Both ended Bad. Never had Castiel imagined that he could feel a loss as hard as these two. He knew he liked them, otherwise it would not hurt so bad. Again there was no time to feel the loss, to mourn and to heal. Chuck, aka God, snapped. What ever he did, every Soul ever died on Earth had been released. Surrounded by many of them the brothers and Cas fought their way out. It was a way too close call. A lot of healing was needed. While healing Cas noticed a bit confused that he was on full power. Not only that, he also had his wings back. How he had missed them. He knew Dean would be upset of leaving behind the Impala but Castiel would help him later to bring it home. It felt amazing to fly again.


	2. 2

Back at the bunker nobody was able to talk for a while. All of them just sat there staring blankly, realizing what just happened. As usual Dean was the first to talk.  
"We are so screwed."  
Sam responded. "How do we fix THAT?"  
"Don't you get it? We can't! There is no way to fix that! You saw what the gun did and it wasn't much. What were you even thinking? Sammy it could've killed you."  
"I saw a chance and I took it. You would've done the same. I failed. I'm sorry I didn't stop him."  
"I don't believe there ever was a chance to kill him Sam." Cas knew Chuck would never hand out a weapon that could kill him.  
"Cas is right. Chuck played us. By the way, you have your wings back?"  
"Yes. And that's not all. I'm also at full power."  
"You have your mojo back? That's great. You think Chuck did this?"  
"Who else could've done it Dean? I just don't understand why he'd do that."  
"Well you heard him. We are his "favorite" story." Dean made the quoty fingers.  
"All the time he played with us. I trusted him, I prayed to him and he used us like toys."  
"The son of a bitch broke the world."  
"What he did to Jack..."  
"He will pay for that Sammy! I don't know how but he will."  
"Dean, you almost shot Jack!"  
"Yeah but I didn't. There is a difference. You two were right, there is always another way. I was so mad about what he did to mom. But when he was infront of me, practically begging me to shoot him, I couldn't do it. I knew he wasn't evil. There was still hope. Moms death was not his fault alone. We brought him back. All of us have to live with that. I forgave jack and also i like the kid. What Chuck did was just wrong." It sounded like Dean really meant that.  
"I don't think that we can do anything to get Jack back."  
"I'm sorry Cas,i know you care a lot for the kid."  
"I failed him. I promised to protect him, to guide him and I failed him!" One of the biggest regrets Castiel felt. He knew there was no way to fix it.  
"You did the best you could."  
"That's nice of you to say Sam. I know you blame yourself too for Jack burning off his soul. It wasn't your fault."  
"If I wouldn't have brought him back, he could be in heaven now, in peace. Now we don't even know where he might be. I did this."  
Cas didn't like when one of both men beat themselves up for something.  
"You didn't do it alone. Both, Dean and I agreed to it. All of us knew the possible consequences."  
"Cas is right. As much as I was angry at either of you, none of you is to blame. I'm sorry Cas, for being an ass to you. I know you just wanted to be sure and us lot to worry. After mom died I only saw evil around me."  
"It's okay Dean. I could've told you about the real state of his soul. I hope I could fix it. I'm sorry."  
"I know Cas, I know." Dean clabbed friendly on Cas' shoulder and Cas knew it was okay. He just knew. Never was he that close with his angelic siblings. Sure some were pretty close, like how it was with Balthazar. His death, especially the fact that it was Cas' own hand what killed him, still hurt very much.  
Also the connection with Gabriel had been good. But Cas never felt about either like he did about the two humans.  
Staying on earth, helping them, belonging to them was something he'd never trade for anything else. If that meant never being able to return to heaven Cas was fine with it.  
There was still something he hadn't told them though. The deal with the empty. But at the moment it didn't matter. There was no way Cas would feel just a slight of happiness in the moment. He didn't even know if he could be happy at all.  
Also jack must've been in the empty now. So Cas wondered if the shadow would still come after him.  
One day Cas would tell the brothers. It wasn't something to look forward to but it was the right thing to do. The brothers wouldn't like it, at all, they would be hurt, of that Cas was certain. But they would also understand and accept it after some time.

The brothers were still discussing the situation and Cas just watched them. He liked their argumentation, their expressions, just all of them. Though he still felt more connected to Dean he also was very fond of Sam. Everytime he went to them it felt like coming home. They were his family.  
After a while it was decided to let it go for today. Dean put it like this.  
"We won't solve anything today. Tomorrow we will go back. The thought of Baby being all alone out there is killing me."  
The look on Dean's face was priceless. Cas noticed Sam's eyeroll but Dean only looked straight into Cas' eyes. Cas enjoyed these little moments. He had no idea why, he just did.  
Until now it never occurred to him that he didn't stare at Sam like he did at Dean. Maybe it was the fact that Dean was the first human Cas had really interacted with. Or that Cas saved him from hell. Whatever the reason was it didn't bother Cas. Never had and never would no matter what.

The three of them went in different rooms. Cas didn't sleep so he just sat on the bed in "his" room. Nothing personal was in that room. As he sat there he came to the conclusion that it was time to change that.  
The Mixtape gifted by Dean long ago was the first item ever to find a place. Though it was the only real personal thing he had. But he knew, over time, there'd be more. This was his real home and he intended to stay as long as possible.

The night was long and very boring as usual. Walking around, watching the brothers in their sleep, well mostly Dean, was not a good idea.  
When dawn finally came Cas heard a weird sound. Like the sound when something electrical overloaded. He was too slow to notice that some kind of force field surrounded him. It was made of thousand tiny lightnings. Even on full power he wasn't able to escape. A purple smoke crawled into the force field, came closer and closer. Cas just wanted to be somewhere else but nothing worked. If felt like he was bound to this exact spot.  
The smoke touched his feet, crawled all the way up till it was all around Cas' body. A sharp pain rushed through his spine, he screamed but there was no sound he noticed relieved that his body was about to give up, to shut down. All went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay with me here, I know the start is slow, I think it gets better, but decide for yourself.


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for still reading. Now the story really begins.

"That was unpleasant." Cas said loud to himself.  
As he spoke he noticed something really weird. It didn't sound like his voice. He opened his eyes, couldn't remember when he had closed them.  
Looking around he saw that he wasn't in his room anymore  
He was in Dean's room. Why was he in Dean's room? And where was Dean? Cas was alone.  
He stood up. That didn't feel right either. Also his grace, it was gone? He looked at his hands. Not his hands. That wasn't his body! It was Dean's! Why was he possessing Dean's body? Did Dean agree to that?  
Cas searched for a soul inside this vessel. No one else was there. Where was Dean?  
Somewhere nearby Cas heard two screams.  
"SON OF A BITCH!" Sounded like Sam's voice.  
"CAS!" Yelled a rather unfamiliar voice.  
Cas now heard doors slapping, angry steps, saw Dean's door flying through half of the room, Sam angrily entering and after him a face Cas hasn't seen in that angle in a very long time.  
"Jimmy?" The word was faster out than Cas could act. It couldn't be Jimmy, he was in heaven.  
"I'm not Jimmy Dean, I'm Sam."  
"Well I'm not Dean, I'm Castiel."  
"Woah, why are you in Dean's body? Why am I in yours?"  
"That's what we all want to know Sammy."  
It was really weird to see how Sam, now in Cas' vessel, looked at his body now occupied by Dean.  
"Dean?"  
"Yeah it's me. What the hell Cas?"  
"I don't know. All I know is there were lightnings trapping me, purple smoke and a sharp pain in my spine."  
"You were awake?"  
"Yes, you know I don't sleep."  
"I must confess it is very nice up here. You two are so tiny." Sam's body chuckled.  
"Dean. Come on! This isn't funny."  
"No it's not Sammy but it also is, kinda."  
"Whqt happened to us?"  
"Apparently we switched vessels. Not only that I don't have my grace in here."  
"What do you mean? You lost your mojo? Again?"  
"Not exactly. I think it stayed in my vessel. So technically Sam is an angel now."  
"Really? You mean I can heal, fly and smite now?"  
Sam sounded a bit too excited in Cas' opinion, still he nodded.  
"You have to tell me how it works!"  
"Don't get too excited. We have to find a way to switch back. I don't wanna stay like this forever."  
"Yes, I agree with Dean. We don't know what consequences might follow."  
Sam looked disappointed, then looked over to Dean. His face, so familiar to Cas, showed a sign of an idea.  
"Rowena!" He said out loud.  
"Right she might be able to help us. Also she ows us one. Call her!"  
"Okay, I'll call her. Phone is in my room?"  
"I didn't bring it."  
Sam left. The sensation of seeing his original vessel moving away was something Cas didn't expect. Also Cas was human again and the baggage that came with it already started to weigh on him.  
"Maybe we should leave the room?"  
"Good idea. Well it's my room but I'm starving, I need food. You're coming? Bet you're hungry too."  
"Yes I am. How did you know?"  
"You said your grace is in your vessel, I figured you're technically human, for now."  
Cas couldn't help it. He admired Dean's intellect. Only sam and him knew hoe clever Dean really was. Other humans underestimated Dean way too often. That always backfired on them.  
Cas cought himself staring at Dean, again. Dean seemed not to be bothered. He stared back for a moment then bursted out in laughter.  
"Hahahaha, Cas, I didn't know I could look so.weird."  
Cas didn't know how to respond to that.  
"Let's eat." Dean walked away.  
Cas hesitated for a second then followed him.

In the kitchen Dean started to work on something. Cas had no idea how food was made. In his brief human experience he never learned that. As an angel there was no need for food. Also if he wanted food his power allowed him just to make it work. It was quite fascinating to see Dean making breakfast.  
Sam came in with his phone. "Rowena isn't answering."  
"Sit down, eat, you can try again later."  
Sam did as Dean said.  
While dean was making pancakes and bacon the kitchen got filled with the smell. In Cas' opinion it smelled really good. He actually was excited to be able to taste food like it should be tasted again. Tasting every molecule was not pleasant. Maybe being human wasn't so bad after all. Maybe he could even have pb&j again. He stomach agreed loudly.  
"Hehehe. I bet you haven't eaten in ages Cas." Dean chuckled.  
"I apologize."  
"No need. That's totally normal. What about you Sam?"  
"I don't feel hungry, I'll try."  
"That's the spirit little brother."  
Dean finished cooking and filled everyones plate with pancakes and bacon. Cas' plateseemed to be a bit more full than the others but he didn't mind.  
The first bite was like a miracle. Being human really wasn't bad. Cas enjoyed his meal, he even dared to ask for more. Dean just smiled and provided. Sam on the other hand looked disgusted.  
"Sam? What's wrong?"  
"Now I know what you meant Cas. I'm sorry Dean, I can't eat it."  
"You've got the whole angel program?"  
"Looks like it. I'm going to try to reach Rowena again." Sam left the kitchen.  
Cas felt sorry for him. He knew how it was for angels with food. Cas also knew of anyone was able to figure it all out it was Sam. He knew it wouldn't take long for Sam to adjust. For some reason Cas thought it was really good that Sam was the one with the grace. Cas knew Sam would handle it full of responsibility. Sam wouldn't run around healing everyone from everything.   
Sure sam would be tempted to resurrect some certain people but he wouldn't risk it. Though Cas was sure Dean would also handle it very fine. Both brothers have learned so much over the years. They've lived through loss, tragedy and even death. He admires their strength.

Sam came running back in the kitchen. "You won't believe what just happened!"  
"What is it Sam? Is something wrong?" Cas was a bit worried.  
"I was trying to reach Rowena and I got really frustrated, maybe a little mad also. Suddenly I was in her room. She screamed, I freaked and then I was back here. I don't know who was more surprised, her or me."  
"You flew to Herzegovina that's what you've done. I'm impressed Sam. I knew you'd figure it out, just didn't expected it that fast."  
Dean laughed. "Ahahahaha, what I'd give to see Rowena's face right now! Nicely done Sammy."  
Sam looked like he wanted to say something but in the moment he opened his mouth his phone rang. He looked at the phone.  
"Rowena."  
He pushed the on speaker button.  
"BLODDY HELL SAMUEL!"  
"Hey Rowena, we tried to reach you."  
"Castiel? Why are you on Sam's phone.?"  
"It's Sam?"  
"What?"  
"Rowena we need your help."  
"Of course you do, you brothers always need my help. What kind of trouble are you in?"  
"We might have been headed."  
"Is that why Castiel scared me to death and why your voice sounds like him Samuel?"  
"Yes and more. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pop up like.that."   
"That was you?"  
"Yeah. It was an accident."  
"Stop the small talk Sam! Rowena, we need you! Yesterday!"  
"Is that Dean?" She giggled. "I'm preoccupied at the moment but I'll come as soon as I can."  
"Rowena!"  
Her very loud laughter halled through the speaker then the phone beeped. Rowena must've hung up.  
Cas could see that Dean got angry. Sam just looked disappointed.  
"I hate witches."  
"I guess that was it for now Dean."  
"No I have an idea."  
Dean gave Sam a weird look. Cas wasn't sure what that meant.  
"You can't be serious!"  
"Why not? Cas did it all the time."  
"Yeah but Cas knew how to do it, it's too dangerous. What if I mess it up?"  
"Dwan are you implying that Sam flys to Rowena and brings her here?"  
"Exactly."  
"No Dean, I won't do it!"  
"Sam is right."  
"That's our only chance. Sam can do it. He just zapped himself to her and back. I'm sure he can bring her here. You did it all the time Cas."  
"You don't understand. I have been an angel all life. My powers were part of me. Flying was easy, it was natural. But it's not just like getting a person in a car and drive away. Taking someone with you without any experience has risks. For both."  
"Cas is right. I want Rowena here too, I want it now. But Dean, what if I transport her in a wall.or something? She isn't any good for us if she's dead."  
"Hmpf. I hate this."  
"We know. We don't like it either. But as long as I haven't figured it all out I won't zap anyone."  
"Agreed. Sam needs to practice. I will help him as good as I can. Though it might be hard to explain instinct."  
"Give us a few days Dean. Rowena isn't going anywhere. I can zap her any time. She can't go where an angel can't reach her, right Cas?"  
"There are a few places angels can't reach but she can't go there either in her mortal state."  
"Not helpful Cas."  
"Fine. You two win. For now." Dean left the kitchen.  
Cas could hear him swearing while walking off.  
"So Cas. How about we start right now?"  
"I'm not sure how much help I'll be but I'll do my best."  
"Comforting." Sam chuckled.


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the length of the chapter. Length is different when one writes on paper.

As Castiel expected Sam was a natural. The started with little steps like 'teleport' ,as Sam put it, from one room to another and back. A few tries later Sam already flew near to a gas station a hundred miles away.  
Sam was very excited about flying, he enjoyed it, that was obvious. But he also seemed to hold back. Cas wasn't sure but it seemed Sam didn't want Cas to feel sad for loosing his powers so shortly after getting them back. Cas didn't think too much about it. He found himself liking being human this time. The bunker was a good place. Food, water, a bed to sleep in, it was way better than last time. Also he wasn't alone, that made a huge difference. He had been told "humans aren't made to live in solitude Cassie" a long time ago. Feeling this was true, feeling everything not only glympses of humanity was almost as good as being an angel of the lord, maybe even better. And Deans vessel felt pretty good.  
Cas thought about talking to Dean about it but he came to the conclusion that it wasn't a good idea. Cas knew Dean wouldn't like to hear it. He knew feelings and sharing them was something Dean had issues with. Talking to sam about it would somehow be awkward. Cas decided to keep it to himself.

Sam continued to practice flying, now taking little objects with him. Just a tad surprised about hoe smoothly Dam managed Cas helped him as good as he could. Not that Sam needed any help. Maybe Cas' vessel remembered how to be an angel, maybe it didn't really matter who was in there. Cas didn't know.

Next step was taking living things with Sam. First some plants, then some bugs and later a mouse. All went fine. Sam grew confident.  
"How about we two try a little trip?" He asked Cas.  
Not quite sure if it really was the right time Cas thought about it for a second.  
If they wanted a solution to this mess, who ever they had to thank for it, Sam needed to be able to take a real human soon. With a sigh Cas nodded.

Being the one who gets 'zapped' was a total new experience for Cas. To trust this power, this angel, to trust Sam with his life put him in a strange mind place. Finally Cas understood why Dean sometimes had refused to being transported. Humans seemed not to be made for this.  
Castiel felt nausea slowly creeping in his stomach. It wasn't that Sam screwed up or something. Sam did really well. Just the feeling of hopping around and not being quote sure where one were was disorienting. Cas' view got blurry. If they didn't stop soon he might puke.  
"Sam, please I need a break."  
"Why? It's working great."  
"Yes. But I need rest, I feel like puking."  
"Oh! I'm sorry. I totally forgot about how flying affects a human."  
"That's understandable."  
"Okay break now. I think I'm ready anyways."  
"Thank you and I think so too. You figured it out."  
"I wish I knew how to heal though."  
"Let's hope we will not come in a situation where that is needed."  
"Knowing us we will."  
Cas had no response to that. It was true. A part of him hoped he'd be in 'his' vessel more sooner that later. Not because he minded to be human, not because he was jealous that Sam was the angel now and totally not because Dean's vessel felt way too good around Cas' essence or whatever his being was. Totally none of that.  
Sam left Cas alone to tell Dean the news. Cas sighed deeply. Feelings could be very annoying. Especially when one knew that some were useless on the actual situation. Some of them haven't gotten Cas anywhere at all no matter how long he had felt them or how deep they were.  
Sam and Dean popped up just right infront of Cas. Cas shrieked a little but contained it very fast. No one noticed, hopefully.  
"Wow, Sam, you made it! I knew you could do it! Well done little brother. Hey Cas."  
"Hello Dean."  
"You tought Sam very well."  
"I didn't do much. Sam is a natural. I'm very impressed."  
Cas eyes weren't able to move their gaze away from Sam's body now occupied by Dean. Why did he always stared at Dean like that? And why stared Dean back? Those questions lurked deeper inside of Cas and being human made it worse.  
In that moment Cas realized his feelings towards the brothers were very different between the two of them. He cared for Sam sure, like he was his real brother, more than he ever cared about most of his angel siblings. Sam was his best friend, his family. But what he felt for Dean was something else. He remembered the one time he had mentioned the "more profound bond" to Sam. It was an odd memory. Sam had been soulless back then, still he had seemed to be upset about it but not actually surprised.  
Dean on the other hand had looked very confused. Cas never mentioned it again. He thought Dean didn't like it, didn't feel the same. So Cas let it go. Over the years, through everything they went together, even when betrayal one one side or the other occurred, Cas' feelings for Dean never faded, actually only deepened. Cas couldn't understand what it was that he felt, he just knew it was different than the feelings for Sam.

Dean broke the staring first he always did. Suddenly Cas missed something. When this was over he needed to explore those feelings, maybe even yo talk to Dean about them. Though not with people around, not even Sam. Dean's sharing issues were in the way for that.   
A plan for later formed in Cas' head. No matter how it would end he was determined to go through with it. It was important to understand what those feelings were. For the sake of the more pressing issue Cas pushed them down for now.  
"Sam, you'll teleport Rowena. Now!"  
"Sure Dean. I can do it, I'm confident. Thabks for giving me time."  
"It wasn't easy. As much as I like being gigantic, I miss my body. I want it back, yesterday."  
"Dean, we all want that." Sam sighed. "Alright. I'll be back." Within the blink of an eye Sam vanished into thin air.  
"I'll be back." Dean chuckled. "Sam went full on Termninator."  
Cas said nothing. Dean and his references.  
There had been a time when he didn't understand them. Thanks to Metatron not anymore.

A few moments later Sam materialized with a very unhappy looking Rwowena.  
"How dare you! I'm busy! Can't you leave me alone!"  
"Im sorry Rowena, as I tried to explain, we need your help."  
"Is it really you in there Samuel?"  
"Yeah, it's me."  
"You already learned how to teleport? Wait, I thought angels couldn't do that anymore?"  
"About that. Before uhm this happened Cas somehow got his powers back, all of them. And yeah, I can teleport quite fine."  
"I'm impressed Samuel, bloddy hell, I really am. Alright. Boys, tell.me everything."  
Cas told her everything he remembered. It was amazing what a human mind could do. Rowena seemed to be listening very carefully, asked a few questions and looked around between all of them.  
"You guys are telling me that you swapped bodies?"  
"Yes."  
"So Samuel inhabits Castile's body, Dean is in Samuel's and you angel are in Dean's?"  
"Yes." Cas liked to keep it simple.  
"That's quite a spell."  
"So it is a spell?" Sam asked.  
"Aye and a very powerful one. It shouldn't be possible, especially not with an angel." Rowena walked to Dean. "Interesting. I see Samuel's face but not his soul in here."  
"Can you help us?" Dean pouded.  
"Of Dean, always so impatient."  
"Rowena! We kinda have situation here, it would be very helpful if we were in our original bodies."  
"I know, I felt it. A force opening all gates of hell. What was it?"  
"Chuck."  
"God? That's a joke isn't it Samuel?"  
"I wish it was."  
"God opened the gates of hell?"  
"Yes, he is kinda mad at us."  
"And why would he be mad at you?"  
"So get this. We didn't want to kill Jack and I kinda shot him."  
"Bollocks Samuel! You did what?"  
"We can talk about that later!" Interrupted Dean. "Can you break the damn spell?"  
"Aye, I can.but it will need time."  
"How long?"  
"I don't know yet I'm sure I can lift the spell, I'm sure I have something in the book of the damned. Let's not rush. You don't want to make it worse, do you?"  
Dean just grunted, Sam sighed very loud and Cas let out a breath.  
"No, that is not what we want."  
"Take all the time you need." Assured Sam.  
"But don't take too long." Closed Dean.  
"Fine boys. I'll do my very best."  
"Thank you."  
"Thank me when it's done Dean. Now Samuel, since you were so nice to being me here, be a dear and bring my stuff."  
"Yeah okay."  
Rowena wrote a long list on a sheet of paper. Sam looked at it for a while.  
"That's quite a list."  
Rowena looked sharply at Sam. He cleared his throat and disappeared.  
"Impressive." Was all Rowena said.

A few hours later, all things Rowena had requested were in the bunker, Cas watched very carefully what Rowena did. It reminded him of the time when Dean had the Mark of Caun. Of course the curse Rowena had cast on him came to Cas' mind. A memory he would like to forget.  
For now Rowena was just reading in her book. It seemed harmless.   
Sam.was in his room. Dean watched over Rowena too. Both men sat near her. Cas assumed Dean liked keeping an eye on her. Cas definitely didn't trust her. Though over the last few years she had become some kind of an ally Cas was also sure Rowena liked Sam, maybe more than like. But he knew she'd never admit that. She was too proud and way too independent for that. And maybe she was scared that Sam would reject her.  
Cas wasn't so sure. Sam always had been drawn to a darker path. It wasn't his fault. He did his best not to end up there. Sadly the demon blood would always be a part of him. Not even someone like Cas or Michael, in that matter, could cure him of it.  
A loud noise disturbed Castile's thoughts.  
"BOLLOCKS!"  
"What is it Rowena?" He was curious.  
"Dont tell me there is no spell." Dean basically yelled.  
"There is a spell, but it's not an easy one. Lots of ingredients. Some of them I dont even know if they exist."  
"So there is a way." Sam suddenly stood next to Rowena.  
"Can you stop that Samuel!"  
Dean chuckled, Cas smiled a little. He knew he had done this himself to either of the brothers so very often.  
"Sorry." Said Sam in a soft voice using his "puppy eyes", as Dean called it.  
Rowena sighed very loud. "To answer your question, yes there is a way. But it won't be easy."  
"Tell me what you need. I'm sure I can get everything."  
"Cas noticed that Dean was quiet. That only happened when he was worried about Sam but knew that there was no other way  
It took several minutes for Dean to overcome his silence.  
"Are you sure you can do it Sammy?"  
"Yeah, I think so."  
"Cas?"  
The look Cas received from Dean was so unsure, so questioning, so much like Dean, Cas forgot for a hot minute the actual situation.  
"Cas?"  
"My apologies. Sam should be fine. There is not much he needs to be scared of."  
"Then it's settled. Rowena what does the spell need?"  
"Myrrh, holy water, sedge, lavender, hair of a cat, acorn seeds, bear blood..."  
"We can get all that easy." Dean interrupted again.   
Rowena rolled her eyes. "That's not all. We also need a part of the tower of babel, Dodu eggs, two of them, Moondust and a part of the cross."  
"Woah." Was all Dean said.  
"You don't mean any cross right?"  
"No Samuel, I mean the actual cross."  
"Sam this would require time travel, you haven't learned that yet."  
"Alright. Can you teach me Cas?"  
"I believe so."  
"Thanks Cas."  
"Why don't you go with him Cas? I'm sure you know exactly where to go."  
"I do. If you agree Sam, I'll come with you."  
"Yeah I like that."  
"Now, you have the spell, you have the ingredients, Samuel can cast the spell, you don't need me anymore. Please, I'd like to go home."  
The brothers shared look. Cas assumed it was one of their wordless conversations. Dean nodded. Sam took Rowena, she hugged him very tight, acted scared but Cas saw right through her. Sam of course didn't notice. Cas smiled a little. His assumption about Rowena's feelings towards Sam have been right. Though he would never say a word, not to Rowena nor Sam.  
He tried to focus his thoughts on the task lasting before him. This would not be easy.  
Teaching Dam to wander through time, finding the needed objects, taking a passenger and coming back alive. Definitely not easy.  
Still Cas needed to do something, his vessel was restless. Did Dean always felt like that? If that was the case Cas understood so many aspects of Dean's personality way better than before. Also a part of Cas longed to be back in his old vessel, he missed it.


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters are shorter from now on.

Turned out not much teaching was needed. Again Cas was amazed how easy Sam handled being an angel.  
The first trip went to just a few days in the past. It had been like Cas remembered. Although the side effects of being the companion were really discomforting, like the nausea.  
They decided to do a bigger trip.

Far back in time humans were different. Their beliefs made them think they actually could reach God by building a high tower. Chuck had punished them for it despite the fact that they would've never been able to reach him. Cas always wondered if the punishment really had been necessary. Confusing the language was in Cas' opinion a little harsh. But humans never gave up. They had the ability to use such disadvantages for their benefit. For example these days it didn't matter anymore which beautiful language a human spoke.

Sam took Castiel by his hand and a second later they stood at the very fresh looking ruins of the tower of Babel.  
"That's it?" Sam sounded very disappointed.  
"Yes. For them it was quite the achievement."  
"And Chuck destroyed it?"  
"Right after he confused the language."  
"Huh. Okay. Let's take our piece and get out of here. Any particular piece?"  
"No. I think any part will do."  
Sam nodded, picked up a broken wooden piece, grabbed Cas by his shoulder and in an instant they were back in the bunker.  
Dean looked relieved when they popped in, like he had been worried. "Did you get it?"  
As an answer Sam simply placed the piece on the table.  
"Good. What's next?"  
"Moondust."  
"You'll have to do that alone, neither of us can accompany you."  
"Right." Sam disappeared again.  
"How was it Cas?"  
"Sam did very well. It was nice being there, simpler times, you know."  
"I keep forgetting that you witnessed all of evolution. Must be like a road on memory lane for you."  
Cas hummed in agreement.

Sam appeared a few moments later. "Cas, dude, this is really amazing. I was on the frigging Moon!"  
Dean chuckled. "Alright boy scout. Let's see if your trip was successful."  
Sam had 'bitchface number three', as Dean would say, on his face. Cas smiled. He didn't know that Jimmy's was capable of that.  
Sam layed a small bag on the table. Dean grabbed and opened it.  
"Awesome. Well done Sammy."  
"It's Sam." Sam replied 'bitchface' still active.  
Dean just rolled his eyes.  
>>These two<< ran through Cas' head. What odd day it would be if the brothers didn't bicker. It assured Cas things were okay, were normal, well their kind of normal.  
Next task were the Dodu eggs. Again Sam took Cas along for help. It was wonderful for Cas to see these beautiful animals again. It was also amazing to see the other animals of that period.

Cas helped Sam to find a nest with some eggs.  
"I thought their were bigger. But they're only slightly bigger than chicken eggs."  
"Dodus were beautiful creatures. I was sad when they were extinct."  
"Why did they vanish Cas?"  
"We were told that they didn't fit anymore for whatever reason. Same with the mammuts. Though they at least have relations to elephants. Dodus simply vanished."  
"That must've been hard to witness."  
Cas just nodded. It had been hard. So many of heavens decisions have been hard.  
Cas took a few eggs from the nest and secured them in an egg box. "We have what we came for. Bring us home Sam."  
"Just a moment Cas. I'd like to watch the birds for a minute."  
Sam's reaction was understandable. Cas wondered how long sam had left till.the grace tuned down his feelings. Angelic grace shoved feelings deep down, so deep down that only slight glympses got through. At least it had been like that for Cas before he met the brothers. Now even as an full angel he felt things more deep than any other angel. Not as deep as a human but deep enough.

They stayed for about an hour. Time didn't really matter. When Sam finally grabbed Cas he looked a little sad. Maybe it was hard for him to leave all those beautiful creatures behind, Cas didn't know.

"You should've seen it Dean."  
"Next time little brother. Did you get the eggs?"  
"Of course." Cas handed the egg box over to Dean.  
"I thought they would be bigger."  
"That's what I said." Sam chuckled.  
Sometimes their bloodline was undeniable. Sometimes it was like Dean and Sam were from completely different sides of the universe.  
"Only one item left."  
"Yes, the cross. That will be harder. People were quite suspicious, didn't ask questions first so we need to be careful."  
"I could go alone Cas."  
"No Sam. It would be easier if Cas goes with you."  
"Cas could also describe me what to look for."  
"Does 'Cas' has a say in this?"  
Both men looked at Cas in confusion. Dean's face brightened up. He laughed with full body action.  
"Hahahah Cas, you learned well. That was pretty funny."  
"Ehm...thank you Dean...I guess."  
"Take the compliment buddy."  
"It's okay Dam. I will go with you. I'll be fine, don't worry."  
Sam sighed. "Fine."  
"Though I need a little rest. Would it be okay to do it tomorrow? I'm pretty tired."  
"Dean?" Sam asked doubtfully.  
"Yeah yeah, what's one night, right?"  
Dean rarely agreed easy with something. Sam looked relieved, turned around, said 'goodnight' and walked down the hallway.  
"You know he is still worried right?"  
"Yes, I know. That's just part of his nature, like it's part of yours to worry about him Dean."  
"You sure you'll be okay for one last trip?"  
"Yes. I know what to do, where to go and what to take. Sam doesn't, he needs me. Itll be alright. Thanks for your concern though. I appreciate it."  
"Whatever. Good night Cas." Dean stood up from.his chair, presented a little smile to Cas, even winked at him and walked away.  
Cas stood there for a minute trying to figure out why Dean's wink had such an effective influence on him. His heart was wide, full with feelings, similar to what he had felt when April the reaper had kissed him but also so very different. April was totally physical. It was his first ever intercourse with a human and as a human. He liked April, well till the moment she killed him, well more the things she did to and with him the night before.  
Cas shrugged it off and walked to his room. He was so tired, it had been a very long day. Or were it days already? No one had slept after waking up in the wrong vessel, all were busy with figuring out what to do. They forgot everything else. It was so easy to forget time in the Bunker.

Entering his room Cas wanted to lay off his trenchcoat but then he remembered whoms body he was wearing. Dean only wore flannel, shirt and Jean's. Would it be weird to dress for sleep? Would it be weird to use the bathroom? Damn that was an odd thought. Not only that he had to urinate again, god it had been so annoying the last time, no he was supposed to do that in Dean's body. Angel's in heaven! He couldn't possibly do that! He didn't even understand why it was such a big deal.  
Cas decided to go for teethbrushing first. He could do that. It was easy.  
Dressing up in night clothes was also jot so bad. Cas did it without much looking. Then he lied down on the bed and tried to sleep. Should've been easy.

Nature called with all her power a few minutes later. Cas tried to push her call away but wasn't successful. He took a deep breath, stood up, walked to the bathroom, let the light off though and followed the call of nature. Even in the dark and with his eyes closed Cas' face burned hot.  
While relieving his human bladder another call of nature crept through his body. Hell no! Definitely not! He would not follow that one, not in this vessel!  
Though the thought was kinda tempting. Cas sighed again. He finished his task as fast as he could, jumped back to bed and tried to black out those damn thoughts and the bodies reaction to them.  
It took him a while till sleep finally carried him into darkness. Sweet dreams, which never could come true, stalked him that night. Dreams about a certain hunter, about how this certain hunter traded places with April, though without the killing part. In the fogginess if the sweet dream Cas didn't fight it. The dream was just too good. Actually he enjoyed the dream.

The morning came too fast. Though some things became easier. Cas stretched after waking up, got dressed and left his room to get some food.  
Someone had already started cooking, the bunker was filled with the smell of pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. Cas assumed Dean was cooking.  
As he walked into the kitchen it was a bit irritating to see Sam at the oven until Cas remembered it wasn't Sam, not at the moment.  
"Morning Cas."  
"Hello Dean.  
"Did you sleep well?"  
Cas noticed his face hearing up, he probably was blushing. "Yes, I slept well." He played it down.  
"Hungry buddy?"  
"Like a bear."  
"Good to hear. Sit down, I made enough for all of us. Though Sam might not eat. So eat as much as you want."  
"You are right. Sam doesn't need to eat right now. Thanks for breakfast Dean."  
"You're welcome."  
Dean made the best breakfast Cas ever had. Again Cas' heart felt weird, open, so wide. What was that feeling?


	6. 6

"Morning guys." Sam popped up without any warning.  
Dean shrieked. "My god Sam! You can't pop in like that. I almost had a heart attack. Are you trying to kill me?"  
Sam rolled his eyes, chuckled a little, then pulled up the puppy eyes. "Sorry. I'll be more careful next time."  
"You better be Sammy, I'm not twenty anymore."  
"You'll be fine Dean. Don't be such a diva."  
The brothers bickered for a while. Cas watched it all with big eyes. He never had seen his, aka Jimmy's, face with so many different expressions, not even when he had watched over Jimmy before taking his vessel. Humans were wonderful.

After finishing breakfast it was time to get the last item for the spell.  
"You guys be careful?"  
"You could come with us Dean."  
"Nah. Someone has to stay here and keep everything safe."  
That was interesting. Dean lied. He didn't want to travel with Sam and Cas. Cas wondered why Dean wouldn't just say it. Also why he didn't want to travel with them. He had traveled with Cas so often when it was possible so why did he hesitated now?  
"You sure Dean?" Asked Sam suspiciously. He seemed to know that Dean was lying.  
"I'm good. Be careful and be back safe."  
Cas knew Dean wouldn't say more so he shrugged.  
Sam touched Cas' shoulder, it made whoosh and boom there they were.

A hill greeted them with it's green grass. On top of the hill Cas made out three figures hanging on three crosses. He knew which one they needed.  
"We are here Sam, well done."  
"So it's real, it really happened."  
"Yes."  
"Must've been a cruel way to die. Glad humans came past that."  
"It was very painful. Especially for this one. They didn't spare him anything. Usually they used ropes to fix their victims up there bot not with him."  
"Why?"  
"It was a prophecy. You know how hard to avoid they are. Humans weren't as strong willed as they are in your time. If it was written everyone knew it would happen."  
"I understand. Let's take our item and go. I won't stay too long, can barely look at this."  
For once Cas agreed. It definitely was a most dark chapter of humanity.  
"Wait here Cas, I'll get the item. What do I grab?"  
"Just a piece of the wood. It will do just fine. Be careful, there are lots of humans on that hill."  
"Got it."  
Sam disappeared. He was nowhere to be seen. >>I didn't teach him that.<< said Cas to himself.

Someone yelled at Cas in a language he couldn't understand. Cas turned around and found himself looking at the tip of a very sharp looking sword.  
The human attached to the sword looked like a guard, probably on duty to check for anything suspicious, this crucification had to happen.  
He kept yelling at Cas but Cas didn't understand. Cas shook his head, tried to communicate with the man but it was hopeless. Now he missed his grace. It was way easier when one was an angel. They had no language barrier.  
The guard got more angry, obviously thinking Cas was a threat. He wiggled his sword around, senseless, even tried to stab Cas with it. Luckily Cas hadn't forgotten how to avoid being stabbed.  
That made the guard even angrier. Where was Sam? It really was time to get out of here.  
The guard figured out Cas' tactics and had an answer for them. He managed to prick Cas' arm. Damn it hurt! But it wasn't life threatening. Cas tried to run away but apparently other guards had been called while Cas was busy with avoiding the sword. Now five guards were around him. Though so far only the first guard fought with Cas. The others only made sure Cas wouldn't go anywhere.  
'Sam! Hear me please! I need your help.' He prayed to Sam. The whole situation was so ridiculously wrong.  
The sword cut into Cas' calves. Not too deep but blood was shed. Cas slowly got out of breath. That guard was a warrior, a good one.  
In the moment Sam finally appeared, Cas got distracted by it, the sword cut deep in his belly. Way too deep.  
"Cas! No!"  
Sam sent all the guards to sleep, ran over to Cas, looked at the wound, picked Cas up like he was nothing and the next second they were back in the bunker.  
"Dean!" Sam yelled.  
"What?"  
"It's Cas!"  
"Dammit! What happened?"  
"I don't know. I got the item and then I heard him pray. It took me quite a while to understand he was praying to me, begging for my help but as soon as i figured it out i went to him as quickly as i could. I was too late. I'm sorry Dean."  
Sam layed Cas on the ground. Cas senses were clouded, all around him was numb, the only thing he concentrated on was the pain, the never ending pain in his stomach.  
"Good lord Cas! No! Stay with me buddy."  
Dean's voice came from far away.  
"Heal him Sammy!"  
"I don't know how. I'm so sorry, so sorry. I don't know what to do."  
"You need to heal him. He is dying. He can't die!"  
Cas wanted to tell Sam how to heal but he couldn't speak, pain blocking every other reaction. It got harder to hold on.  
"Please Cas, don't die! Sammy, so something!"  
Dean's voice suddenly was close.  
"Oh Cas, stay with me. I can't loose you, I need you."  
Darkness creeped around Cas.  
"I love you Cas."  
Everything faded away.

Surrounded by pain, loneliness and darkness Cas floated. Maybe he died? Maybe he was in the empty now? Though he hadn't been happy so probably not.  
A sadness took place of the pain. A sadness he never had felt before. Dean's last words halled through the dark. 'I need you. I love you Cas.'  
A warm feeling brighter than anything Cas ever knew filled his floating body. Dean loved him? Was it true? Or was it only a trick from his dying brain? Not matter what, it was quite comforting. The warm feeling spread through his whole being.  
Ohhh! Now Cas understood. He knew why things were different with Dean, always had been and always will be. Why did that took Cas so long? Why did he need to die to understand? More than anything he wished to be alive, just one more time to tell Dean that he loved him back. Just this one last chance.

A bright light found Cas, it was beautiful, warm and pulled him, pulled him far away from pain and darkness. As he opened his eyes, hazel teared eyes stared into his soul. So emotions ran through those eyes.  
"Cas?"  
"Uhhh." Was all his throat could produce.  
"Oh god Cas, you're alive."  
Things became clearer now.  
"Hello Dean."  
Dean chuckled. "Don't scare me like that again dude."  
"I try. Sam? Did he heal me?"  
"Yes I didm" came from Cas' abdomen. Sam had his hands still on his stomach. White light still leaving them and growing into Cas' belly. Cas felt the healing. It was quite pleasant.  
"Thank you Sam. How did you manage?"  
"I'm not sure but the fear of loosing you had quite the impact on me. I simply followed the instinct of the grace, placed my hands on you and the rest worked from alone."  
"That's exactly how it works. Again thanks."  
"You are welcome. I'm just glad it wasn't too late. I'm sorry Cas, I shouldn't have left you alone. Took me way too long to realize your prayer."  
"It's okay Sam. Prayers are hard to hear for new Angel's. The don't understand them at first. Don't beat yourself up for it. I'm fine now, thanks to you."  
"Yeah, thanks Sammy."  
'I need you. I love you Cas' halled through Cas' head. He looked at Dean. "Dean, I'm okay, I'm alive, we have all items together so everything is fine. Let's do the spell."  
"Cas, take it slow man. You almost died. Again. Can we just take a minute? Please?"  
"Okay."  
Sam left Cas' body, dean helped Cas up and pulled him into a tight hug.  
"Man, it's good to see you alive."  
"It's good to be alive."  
'I love you Cas' It surely was just a fever dream, nothing more.  
"Guys, I need to rest from all the excitement. Can we do the spell tomorrow?"  
"Sure Sammy. No rush, we want to do it right. So rest as much as you need. I'm sure Cas can use it too."  
"Thanks Dean." Sam vanished with a whoosh.  
"I'll never get used to him doing that."  
"You won't have to. Tomorrow we do the spell and Sam will be human again. Though you'll have to get used to me being an angel again."  
"It's been a while since you whooshed into me, that's true, but I still remember. Cas do you mind me walking you to your room? I must say I'm still pretty messed up about you almost dying."  
"Of course Dean. If it helps, you can walk me anywhere you want."  
Dean swallowed hard. "Alroght Cas."

Arrived at Cas' door Dean touched Cas' shoulder, as if he had to assure himself that Cas was real. He sighed barely bearable but Cas heard it anyways.  
"Goodnight Cas." Dean turned around and left.  
Cas watched him leaving. There was a conversation waiting for when he was back in his vessel. He wanted to tell Dean so many things. Not even a little doubt crept into Cas. He knew Dean would be honest. However this conversation would go, Cas would accept any outcome.  
Exhausted from everything Cas fell down on the bed. Sleep overwhelmed him and sweet dreams filled the night.


	7. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for staying with me that long. Last chapter! Wohoo. I'm grateful. I didn't know where I'd go with this idea, didn't know for a long time.

Cas woke up well rested. He looked at the clock. Damn, he slept till ten in the morning. He never had slept that long before. Well not in his human state.  
He was kinda both, excited and scared of the spell.  
It could fail. Okay that wouldn't be so bad but it would violate his plan for later. The spell also could work. Then he would be full angel, with numbed feelings and all. Cas thought of a method to not numb the feelings he just recently discovered. Was being an angel worth loosing love? Was his love strong enough to stay with him? Worrying questions.   
He knew how to name the feeling, the feeling he had since the day he pulled that soul out of the pit, now that he knew it was love, real love, he would do all in his power to never loose it. Though even in his worst times, like.tbe Leviathan fiasco, it never went away. So Cas was confident that not even his grace couldn't make him forget.

Cas left his room. The way to the kitchen seemed harder that day. His steps were slow and heavy, still decided between staying as he were and being his old self. Both had their perks. Well okay, being his true self had the bigger upside. Because some things wouldn't work if he still possessed Dean's body, especially since Dean was inhabiting Sam's body. Becoming his true self again won the fight once and for all. Cas steps suddenly were like light feathers, almost flying to his destination.

Dean was making breakfast again.  
"Morning Cas."  
"Good morning Dean."  
"What happened to 'hello Dean'?" Dean chuckled.  
Cas shrugged.  
"How was your night Cas?"  
"Veey good. I slept well. Thanks Dean."  
"Don't mention it. How are you feeling? Did Sam heal you properly?"  
"I'm fine. Sam did a perfect healing. Don't worry. Your vessel will be more than ready for your return."  
"That's not what I was worried about."  
"What is it then?"  
"Hmpf. Forget it Cas. Hungry?"  
"Yes."  
Dean placed a filled plate infront of Cas. It had all the good stuff on it. Cas' stomach rumbled and his mouth got watery.  
"Smells perfect. Thanks."  
"Yeah yeah. Come on, eat."  
Dean didn't have to say that twice.  
Cas enjoyed every bite of his last breakfast as a human. He savored the smell, the taste, the satisfaction of being filled in his memories.  
Dean mostly watched Cas eat but also enjoyed his breakfast. Cas wondered if Sam would be upset for the amount of unhealthy food Dean was inhaling to Sam's body. But knowing Sam, he would just jog a little more for a couple of days.

When the last crumb was eaten Cas helped Dean clean up the dishes. It was so domestic that Cas imagined them to do it so close to each other for the rest of his existence. He almost forgot the actual situation. It just felt right to be so close to Dean.

Afterwards they went to the dungeon where they would perform the spell. The safest place in the bunker in case anything went wrong.  
Sam was already there and prepared everything for the spell.  
"Morning Sammy."  
"Morning guys. Are you ready to be yourself again?"  
"Hell yeah! I mean it's cool to be sasquatch and all but I miss being me."  
"I get it Dean. What about you Cas? Ready?"  
"Yes Sam. I enjoyed being human this time. But well, it's definitely time."  
"Good. I'm also ready. Okay, let's do this."  
Sam mixed the ingredients just the way the spell told him too and blabbed a lot of Latin mixed with other languages.  
The bowl of ingredients shimmered purple, the same shade of purple the smoke had been when Cas was taken over bey the spell the first time. The room filled with the sound of static and thousands of tiny lightnings surrounded everything. The spell was working.  
The only missing piece would be the sharp pain in the spine. Cas hadn't have to wait long for that. With the last ingredient it hit him. Had it been that painful the last time? Cas couldn't remember. For a second all went black.

When did he fell to the ground? That was the first thought that ran through Cas' mind. He opened his eyes. The ceiling looked nice.  
Before getting up he raised his arm to see his hand. Yepp, the spell worked. That was his, well Jimmy's, hand. Also grace was radiating through everyone of his cells. It was good to be back.  
As hoped the grace didn't numb his feelings. Going back had been the right call.  
Cas finally got up and looked around. Sam and Dean layed both on the ground with closed eyes. Cas checked on Sam first. He let a little amount of grace trace through Sam's body. Everything was as it were supposed to be. It was Sam's soul in there.  
Dean was next. Cas wasn't sure why he checked on Dean, the spell had worked perfectly. The strong pull to be near Dean might have been the reason.  
Cas sent amounts of grace through Dean. Relieved he noticed everything was fine.  
Sam woke up first. "Man I'm glad I was asleep the first time. That really was something."  
Cas stayed one Dean's side and waited for Dean to open his eyes. It took several millennia (okay it were probably just seconds but Cas was impatient) for Dean to finally regain consciousness.  
"Is it you in there Cas?" Were Dean's first words while his green emeralds burned into Cas' existence.  
"Hello Dean."  
"Hahahaha. Alright. I take that as a yes." Dean smiled.   
Sam cleared his throat. "So it worked."  
"Yes! Oh it's good to be back. Are you okay Sammy? Cas?"  
"I'm fine Dean and it's still Sam."  
"Me too."  
"Can we agree to never do that again?"  
"I'm all in. Don't get me wrong. Being an angel was nice, all that power and stuff but it's good to feel whole again. Why did you never told us that angels feel things differently Cas?"  
"I wondered how long it would take you to notice. It's the grace, it pushes down emotions, it's in the programming."  
"So you feel less now?" Asked Dean a bit worried.  
"Well not exactly. For me things changed over the last years. The started to change when I gripped you tight and raised you from perdition. Even before that. I know Samandriel told you about me having too much heart. It's true. I always was able to feel more than other angels. I don't know why Chuck made me like that. For me it doesn't matter, I'm glad I'm able to feel." Cas looked into Dean's eyes again.  
Dean smiled fondly back. God it was really good to be back in his vessel, feeling the grace rushing through every aspect of his being but still feeling the bond with Dean, still feeling what was discovered as Love.

Cas was able to project his voice into Dean's head he just never had used it before. But for the sake of what he wanted to say it was neccessary.  
'Dean, I'm sorry to speak with you like this. But Sam doesn't need to hear it, not yet. Don't be scared, it's just me, good old Cas. There is something I want to tell you. Could we go somewhere without making it awkward for Sam?'  
Dean nodded, his face looked like he was concentrating. 'Sure Cas. If it's alright with you, I'd like to see the past, where Sam took you for the eggs. You are the only angel I wanna fly with.'  
That came very surprising for Cas. He thought Dean didn't like flying in general. Turned our Dean simply wanted only to fly with Cas.  
'It will be my pleasure to show it to you. What about Sam?'  
'I'll handle Sam.'  
"So Cas, let's see if everything is as it should be. Sam, Cas and I will make a short trip to see if his mojo is back, alright?"  
Wasn't that too obvious?  
Sam nodded, trying to hide a giggle. Cas was sure Sam knew what was going g on.  
"Have a great trip you two." He winked at Cas.  
Gladly Dean didn't see.  
'Thanks Sam.' Cas sent towards Sam.  
'Don't hurt him, promise me that.'  
'Never! I love him.'  
'I know. Now go.'  
Dean missed the silent conversation, obviously too busy with his own thoughts.  
Cas grabbed Dean at the spot where he had left his Mark so many years ago.  
WHOOSH

"Awesome! Cas, it's awesome." Said Dean after taking it all in.  
"I'm glad you like it. Thank you for coming with me."  
"You're welcome. What do you want to tell me?"  
Was that hope in Dean's eyes?  
"While being human I came to a realization. I've had a certain feeling for as long as I know you but couldn't really name it. This experience gave me the opportunity to understand. Dean, I'm in love with you. I Love you."  
Dean's eyes grew wide. "You heard me!"  
"What?"  
"Before sam healed you. I though you would die. I couldn't handle the thought of loosing you again without never saying what I feel for you. So I said it. I wasn't sure if you heard me."  
"It wasn't me hallucinating?"  
"No. You didn't imagine it. I Love you too Cas."  
Dean presented Cas his biggest smile and Cas felt how his face changed into a similar smile. He didn't know if he ever smiled that bright before. According to Dean's big green eyes probably not.  
Dean's eyes were so green, filled with love, every freckle on his beautiful face was visible. Before Cas could count every single one of them Dean closed the distance and softly kissed Cas.  
A warmth never felt before flooded Cas' veins, reaching him deep down in the foundation of his existence, closing a rift which he didn't know was there.  
Cas returned the kiss, even deepened it, adding tongue. Dean replied with is tongue.  
No matter what the future would hold for them Cas knew, in that moment really knew, everything would be fine. He finally had found his place, his mate, his everything. He knew he belonged to Dean for eternity.

Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the last chapter as much as I do. I had a lot of fun writing this story.


End file.
